PENPAL Part 3: Penpal Websites

As far as what websites to use to find penpals here is my advice:

~ I tried a couple different ones, but in the end I used Japan Guide. Although, this is mostly for Japanese penpals, you can find penpals from other nationalities too. 

http://www.japan-guide.com/local/

Other sites I tried to use, weren't as safe, resulted in spam mail,etc..

Sorry that I don't know of any other sites. :(

But, here are some ideas for finding one: 

~ Try and use one that lets you make a profile and exchange emails through the website, before actually giving the person your actual email. 

~ Generally, stay away from ones that say things like "meet other singles" or "Pretty Girls profiles" or anything fishy. Sometimes these websites are divided into different sections : areas for regular penpals and areas for romance, and that's fine. But try to avoid them if you can. 

Look for ones that say "language exchange" or  "Friends" or just "penpals"

~ Instead of reading other peoples profiles and messaging them, make your own, and wait for people to message you. I got penpals both ways, but it seemed that the second way worked better. Why? A lot of people don't write enough in their profile. Sometimes they had bad english, so that was part of it. But, if your write own you can get more information from the other person right away. 

For example I wrote my age, favorite hobbies (LOTS of them!), what I'm looking for in another penpal (learn Japanese, email very frequently 2-3 times per week, send gifts, etc..), and finally I asked them to reply with what their favorite hobbies are, age, and a few other things. 

This way, if they didn't reply with a nice long email, with lots of information, then chances are, they wouldn't be the greatest penpal, and I wouldn't feel guilty about not replying back. (in comparison to if I reply to someone else's post and then decide after they reply back that I don't want to)

~ Lastly, you can try Christian Penpal sites, or if you are 17 or younger there are usually some "Children safe" sites. 

Hum... That's all I can think of for now. Hope this helps!

PENPAL Part 2: Ideas for Gifts to Send

Tips for sending Gifts:

~ If at all possible send gifts in the mail. This is HUGE!!! It almost takes the relationship from being a penpalship to a friendship. 

~ Here are some suggestions for gifts:

Fist off I am assuming that you will want to send things as cheaply as possible, which means gifts are light, little and (depending on the country) in as small of packages as possible. 

The "normal" things to send are: post cards, pictures, stationary, stickers, etc..

These are fine, but if you want things to stay interesting and if you want to get a bigger variety of things in return then here are some more idea:

Clothes:

~ After you have figured out your penpals height and seen plenty of pictures to determine their body size, and their individual style, you can send clothing!

~ Clothes such as pants, fitted shirts, shoes, and jackets, or anything large are almost entirely out of the question because they might not fit, and are expensive to send, (don't let that stop you if you want to though)so here are some easier items:

scarves 

hats(like beanies)

socks

T-shirts

Dresses that are lose fitting and can be worn with a belt.

Accessories: jewelry (braclets, earings[ask if their ears are pierced first], necleces, anklets)

Cute wallets, small purses, coin purse (very useful in Asian countries), key chains (for purses, backpacks, and phones)

Hair: barrettes, headbands, pony tails, banddanna, clips, chopsticks (very funny for asian countries - they don't wear them in their hair)

Make up (Chapstick) - or if something is cheeper in your country or has more variety. Some examples would be fake eyelashes and fake nails. Japan has AMAZING variety!!!

FOOD: Candy, dried foods, chips and other crushable items sent in a box are fine.

Cough drops (if they are sick)

Tea or Coffee

Books: If your penpals in learning your language, send them small children's books.

Magazines, fashion, cultural, cooking, anything! If cost too much just cut out some pictures and send them.

Calendars, or cut out pictures from them. 

Manga or comics(great for learning another language since they have pictures)

Kitchen utensils such as:

spoons, or any cute/ pretty silverware

napkins, little paper plates

kitchen mitts

Spices

Bathroom: Toothbrush/and or holder/ and or toothpaste even!

Bandaids, Kleenexes(tissues),hand towel

School supplies: pen/pencil holder

pens and pencils

note books

sharpener

erasers

Other: pillow case, just plain fabric (actually, anything cute or pretty)

Hand mirror

comb

perfume

nail polish

fabric water bottle holder

cute baggies, bags (plastic or book bag)

little flashlights

nail file

Stuffed animals

decks of cards

Posters

small photo albums

Cd's and DVD's (just make sure they can be played in the other country)

Seasonal things: Christmas Card, family letter

Stencils

Decorative paper

Ribbon

Craft/art supplies like paint brushes

And probably one of the best gifts is anything you have made yourself. 

Sorry, for the rampage, I could go on forever!

~ More Suggestions:

~ Save money by using the same packages that your penpals sent their stuff to you in. Put tape all over it to cover up the writing and then write in top of that. 

Also, I'm pretty sure that in Japan you are only charged by weight, so the package doesn't matter. But in America, they charge you for weight and then parcel size, so the smaller you can keep it the better. Use that tape!!!

~ Don't think in terms of "I don't know, that seems weird or boring to send" think in terms of "would I like to get this from a foreign county? Yes, I would, even if its weird!!"

~ If you want something in the mail then you have to send something first. It almost always works!:)

PENPAL Part 1: Tips For Having A Great PenPalship!

~ Having a penpal is one of the best experiences I have ever had! But sometimes it can be difficult. This is mostly due to communication problems(bad english because they are from another country), and/or running out of interesting things to talk about and do. Well, here are some suggestions to keep that penpalship rolling!!!

1.)TOPICS TO WRITE ABOUT:

~ In the beginning of a penpalship, you know almost  nothing about the other person, so it's fairly easy to find topics to write about. For example: Hobbies, favorite music, favorite games, places you have been, etc.. Most of these TIPS however, are for after a few months, even years of penpalling, when you feel like you've run out of things to say.

~ Try and write out conversations you have had. If something happened that was funny, say: you and your dad had a good laugh because of a joke, try and write it out. Now, because of cultural differences this may be misunderstood, but its still fun to read as long as it isn't misunderstood in a bad way (racism,etc..)

~ On that note, don't be scared all the time about saying things that are offensive. If they say something that may seem discriminatory, don't get offended and take it personally. It is may be bad communication or actually a bad stereotype they have developed concerning your country and people. If this is the case, it is then a GREAT opportunity to show them the truth by clarifying the issue and remaining un-offended a great person yourself. If they are your penpal then obviously they don't hate you or your country, so take nothing personally, and viseversa. If you have an opinion about their country ask!!! It usually turns out fine. 

~ If you have something in common: such as you both like to draw, make it a topic of conversation. For example: different techniques, practicing habits, or favorite styles. Send pictures of what you have drawn as well. 

~ Talk about books or movies you have both read. Once, I read a manga called Gentleman's Alliance, and after I finished I wrote my penpal a letter explaining everything I liked or didn't like about it. Kept us talking for quite a while.

2.) THE TWO RULES FOR BEING A HORRIBLE PENPAL:

One: Assume that because it is mundane and normal you shouln't write about it. Chances are that you don't have the most exciting life ever, and you probably have a 9 to 5 job. Write about it!!!! If you don't your penship will die fast, because frankly, you won't have anything to talk about, unless you go on vacation. 

Two: Embarrassment or refusing to trust the other person. I may have experienced this (a penpal refusing to send pictures for a long time). But if your embarrassed by the way you look-well, I guess it doesn't matter-send a picture anyways. A penship will only last so long when you never send any pictures, and I'm the only one ever sending any. Also, it's ok to be unsure and cautious about the person in the beginning. But after a few determining factors you need to start writing about more about your family, and sending those pictures!!!

3.)PICTURES:

~Don't only send/email pictures of yourself. 

In the beginning of a penpalship, after you have sent about ten pictures of yourself, and feel confident that you can trust the other person, begin sending pictures of your family. 

~ If you go on a Vacation with your family, don't just send pictures of yourself. 

~ Send pictures in action. Posing pictures get tiring quick. Funny pictures and ones of you and others doing an activity are much more interesting. Also, it provides an opportunity for something to talk about in your email/letter. Send a picture and then explain who everyone is and what is happening in it. 

~ Send pictures of things you recently bought. For example: clothes, appliances, books, food. (appliances often look very different in other countries)

~ Pictures are almost entirely the basis of maintaining a penship. 

4.)OTHER:

~ If possible become facebook, or Skpe friends. This can however be detrimental to the penpalship. In my case, once I began using these means, I almost always only wrote when I was sending a package, hardly ever again by email.

~ Send links to Youtube Videos that you find funny, or Music Videos that you like. 

~ Help them with their school work. Especially if they are from a foreign country and are learning English. You can check essays for grammar mistakes, and help with vocabulary. 

~ In my next post I will write about sending gifts!!!

Meeting Tomoko (middle) in Japan. The best Penpal ever!!!

Doing Purikura together in Japan.